7 Small, Easy Changes To Improve Your Productivity

Sunday 14^th May 2017 heralds the start of Work Wise Week 2017, the aim of which is to promote different ways of working and smarter working practices for employers, employees and the self-employed. 

Flexible, remote, mobile and agile are all terms you may have already seen used to describe changing the way we work but, essentially, it is about individuals figuring out what they need in order to do their best work and employers figuring out what they can do to make those things happen for as many of their employees as possible. 

When you own a business or you’re self-employed however, the principles you hear about flexible working and work-life balance can seem like a distant dream.  Many people start their own business with the draw of being their own boss, setting their own course and creating a working life that seamlessly allows times for all the fun stuff too.  However, managing multiple demanding clients and doing everything yourself usually means you’re working every available hour.

The idea of changing something just feels like another thing to add to the burgeoning to-do list.

If all that sounds familiar, you are not alone.  Here are my 7 small changes that could make a big difference to your working week.

1. What 5 things make your day a good day?
   It’s a simple question and everyone’s answer is likely to be slightly different. Some will have “a quick commute”, “getting outside on my lunch break”, “not being interrupted”.  Some will have “ticking off my to-do list”, “starting something new”, “going out after work.”  Some are in your control, some less so but knowing what they are can help you design your working day to include at least some of them!  For example even a short walk outside can make you more productive, improve your attention span and your mood!
    
2. STOP Multitasking!
   Doing more than one thing at a time might seem really useful but we actually reduce our productivity by up to 40%. By giving all your attention to one thing you will get through it more quickly and more effectively.  The same is true for people either face to face or over the phone.  We all know how frustrating it is when the person we’re talking to isn’t listening properly. So stop. Listen. Pay attention. No phones or laptops in meetings.
   You can set shorter meeting times and spend less time on tasks.  Try it. It works.
    
3. Say No….but.
   As an employee or a small business, it may feel like you can’t ever say no but you can.  The key is to offer an alternative.  “I can’t get it to you today but I can get it to you by 2pm tomorrow. How does that work for you?”
   You have the best sight of your priorities, workload and how you work best.  If you’re an early bird then working through the night to hit a last minute demand is likely to wipe you out and deliver a sub-standard product.  Better to propose a reasonable alternative that means the client gets what they want and it’s up to your high standards.
    
4. Get Help
   Sometime you can be so busy doing everything you can’t imagine taking the time to bring someone else in.  At times like that it can be helpful to think of what only you can do. I am able to everything in my business but every hour you spend on back office tasks is an hour you could be delivering for a client (and making money!).  Whether it’s using accountingsoftware like Quickbooks to make everything add up or employing a bookkeeper or accountant to do it all for you, help is there.  Make use of it.
    
5. Eat the frog!
   When things are busy, it is easy to put off the things we don’t want to do.  The problem is, they don’t go away, they just lurk there and cast a shadow over everything else.  The phrase “eat the frog” works on the principle that, if you have to eat a live frog, it doesn’t pay to sit and look at it for too long!
   Break it down.  What is the smallest thing you could on this task? Do it first thing in the morning and then the rest of the day will seem easy in comparison.
   And the best bit? The task is rarely as bad or as difficult as we fear it will be!
    
6. Prepare for tomorrow today
   Whenever you end your day, take 5 minutes to look ahead to tomorrow.  Just 5 minutes.  Think about it, run it through, think about how you’d like it to be.  How will you integrate some of your 5 things (question 1) in to the day?
   This mental preparation will mean that as soon as you get up, you’ll feel more prepared and ready to take things on.
    
7. Recognise daily successes – every day!
   It’s easy to be so busy we forget how much progress we are making every day.  Take 5  minutes at the end of every day (once you’ve finished step 6 above) and summarise your highlights.  Size doesn’t matter!  Whether it’s landing a huge deal or taking a walk outside, developing the habit of acknowledging successes every day will help you overcome those tough times and remind you why you do what you do!

Stephanie works with intelligent individuals and teams on leadership, personal impact, choice and change. Find out more at www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk

Whose Life Is It Anyway? It's Your Decision.

Most men and women, at some point, have been told to look, act or think differently. The image above highlights a female perspective but there's a male version too - probably all the endings being "a man" which is equally unhelpful.

I'm confident I didn't receive any of these messages from my parents but I know I felt them both at school and work at various points.

I'm not talking about feedback. Feedback can be helpful when done well. It's useful to know how you're perceived, to understand the impact of your words or actions or to open your mind to another way of thinking.

I'm talking about that point when the feedback/guidance/helpful suggestions start to shake your trust in your own decision-making. When the voices, opinions and influences of others make you second-guess your own knowledge and intuition. Unchecked, this can result, in choices and decisions according to someone else's values, expectations and goals rather than your own.

If you've ever been described as the "good girl" or the "smart one" or the "funny one" or the "sensible one", you probably recognise this all too well. And it's not necessarily a problem. It can be little more than a slight annoyance most of the time. In my experience, it becomes more significant when you have a strong desire to change something in your life but the options seem way out of reach.

"I can't..." "I should......" "I need to....." are some red-flags to look out for. These words, either spoken or thought, are signs that you are not connecting to your own knowledge. intelligence and intuition. 

And if you're not listening to yourself, who are you listening to and how are they serving you?

To be clear, I'm not suggesting we don't pay any attention to what others want for us. Speaking to others and seeking opinions from people you love and trust can be hugely helpful when you're making a change or a decision. But that's the point - speak to them, don't presume you know what they think or what they'll say. People who care about you will listen to you and offer their perspective from a position of love and respect. And whatever they say, remember ultimately it's your decision.

So if you want to make a change in your life, tap in to your knowledge, your expectations and your values. Share your thoughts with others. Ask for opinions and advice. Listen. Be conscious about the external influences that are present and how they interact with your own sense of what you want in your life. And then draw on all your courage make your decision.

Stephanie works with intelligent individuals and teams on leadership, personal impact, choice and change. Find out more at www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk

Having a Wobble? Me too, and that's OK

 "Mum, why is everything going wrong?"

I told myself I'd be the kind of parent who would always encourage questions from my children and who would answer them all as honestly and openly as I could but this one caught me out.
He'd just asked me to turn off the radio which was reporting news of Roy Hodgson's resignation after England's shock defeat to Iceland at the Euros.  This, on top of the referendum result and the ensuing chaos, was the last straw.
He was scared, upset and unsure.  It felt like each day there was a new, unwelcome surprise and a new area of uncertainty.  He didn't understand why it was all happening and he didn't know what was going to happen next.
In some ways I wish I could magic away his concerns but I also know that acknowledging worries and learning how to work with them is such a useful skill.  So, instead of dusting off my magic wand, here's what I'll be telling him tonight:

Having a wobble is normal

Everyone feels scared, unsure or worried sometimes.  When things take us by surprise or when we're not sure what's going to happen next, it can make us feel like everything is out of control and that feels uncomfortable.  Make a list what is worrying you, that way we can look at each thing separately.

Yes, you still have to go to school

Today you went to school, played with your friends and went swimming, just as you did last Tuesday.  This morning you ate cereal, just like you did yesterday.  This afternoon you'll play Clash Royale just like you do every day after school.  And tonight, I'll make tea and you probably won't want to eat it.  And I'll make you, just like I do most evenings.
When we have a wobble we can focus on all the stuff that's changing or all the things we're unsure about.  Remembering and noticing all the things that are the same helps us get the changes in perspective.

Stop picking the scabs

I know that picking the scab on your knee can be interesting and even fun but it also stops your skin from healing properly.  When you're upset by something, it can be easy to listen to and watch things that keep you feeling upset.  When you switch off those things and do something else, other thoughts and emotions get a chance to come in and give the upset bits a chance to heal.
My social media feeds are generally positive and uplifting.  I'm not engaging with the posts and discussions that aren't.

Tidy your room

No, it's not some kind of trick to get you to do stuff! Having a clear out is about taking control and thinking of the future.  You decide what is important and what's not, what stays and what goes.  Whatever else is going on "out there", you can still take charge and make a difference, even if it's just in your bedroom.
Maybe he'll have forgotten all about it by the time he comes home.  I hope so. But I know it won't be the last time he has a wobble and I know that his question helped me recognise my own wobble for what it was and reminded me that it's normal, that not everything's changed and that it will pass.  Oh, and that my bedroom could do with a good sort out!
Stephanie works with intelligent individuals and teams on leadership, personal impact, choice and change. Find out more at www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk

Is being selfish the secret to happiness?

It's 6.30am and I'm kissing my half-asleep son goodbye before I leave to catch the train.
"Ditcher!" he mutters, sleepily.
This is a word used frequently in our household by my 10 year old.  It has become his stock response to any situation where someone other than me will be looking after him outside school hours i.e. he's being "ditched", hence I am a "Ditcher".
The word is usually accompanied by a cheeky grin and I am comforted by the humour in those exchanges but, that day, I left home with a feeling of discomfort that lingered for a couple of days.
The discomfort was, I realised, because I was putting myself first. 
My (tangled) thought process went something like this:

• That piece of work sounds amazing! I want to do it!
• Q: But what about the impact on others? 
• I want to do it! I can do things to reduce the impact on others! 
• Q: But what about the impact on others?
• They'll be alright!  I want to do it.  I'll do it anyway!
• Q:  But what about the impact on others?
• I am a selfish, horrible person and a bad mother.....

And even though I've been here before and I know this is not the truth, it still felt rubbish.
This situation isn't specific to working parents either.  A passing comment from a friend, an instinctive reaction from your spouse, even sarcasm from an unpleasant colleague can have us questioning ourselves.
There's nothing wrong with a bit of reflection.  But what happens when we give others opinions, feelings or requests far more weight than our own?  And what about when we discount an option without even discussing it because we are concerned about someone else's reaction? 
I'm not suggesting you ignore the impacts on or opinions of those around you. Asking, listening, talking and exploring options with people who matter to you can be a powerful part of the decision making process.  The secret is using that information (rather than guesswork or presumption) alongside your own area of expertise - you.
You know what brings out your best.  You know what fulfills you, what drives you and what gives you goosebumps.  You know what is most important to you and what you want and need around you to be successful (whatever your definition of success).
When we are doing things we enjoy, with people we enjoy, we feel good.  When we feel good, we are nicer to be around.  When we are nicer to be around, our relationships with others improve.  There's a positive ripple effect which benefits us and those around us.  
I know I am a better person when I am fulfilled.  I am a better coach, a better friend and a better mother.  It can feel like a delicate balance at times and one I will certainly get wrong on occasion.  But only I can decide where the balance lies.
So whether it's investing in that course, going to the gym before you go home, exploring a new career path or choosing exciting work rather than the school run, if it makes a positive difference to you, it will also make a positive difference to those you care about.
I'm going to be a "Ditcher" again shortly and I'm fine with that.

Why looking for your life purpose may not give you the answer you're looking for!

If you're of a certain age, you'll probably know the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything.*

42.

The people who had waited 7.5 million years for the super computer to work this out weren't too impressed either. 

"I want to find my life-purpose!"

According to countless articles, identifying your life-purpose is as close as we can get to answering the "ultimate question" in the absence of our own super computer. Knowing your life-purpose can bring you happiness, energy, fulfillment and success. If you are feeling increasingly disconnected from what you do in your daily life and are wondering whether there is something more or different available to you, the question of life-purpose may well rear its head. 

"10 questions to find my life purpose? Perfect! Question 1......"

And so begins the quest to find the "thing" we are missing. The "thing" that our life-purpose will point us towards. The "thing" we are meant to do, to create, to build, to change. This "thing" will make us fulfilled. When you find it, happiness, meaning and success will follow.

But as we answer the 10 or 15 or 7 questions that will "reveal" our life-purpose, all we see is a jumble of words, memories and wishes. The light-bulb moment isn't forthcoming. 

"What's gone wrong? Didn't I answer them properly?"

Now an element of panic sets in. If we don't find the "thing" now, we'll miss our chance and be destined to be unfulfilled forever!

Stop.

Take a breath. Relax.

If you're struggling with your life-purpose, here are four important points to consider:
Life-purpose does not have to be one "thing".

Wouldn't it be easier if we could identify one neat purpose for our lives? Bear Grylls' might be "always an adventure", Jamie Oliver's might be "food passion and education". But if you can't see the particular "thing", don't lose hope.

We are conditioned to categorise and label things according to what we already know. And yet human beings are multi-dimensional and complex. We have a wide range of passions, motivations, interests and experiences. Rather than looking for a specific subject, job or answer straight away, stay curious and open-minded. Allow tangents and randomness. 

There is no expiry date. 

Ok, I suppose death is a natural expiry date. That aside, the only time pressure comes from you. Rather than thinking about what's missing and how you want thing to be different in the future, acknowledge what matters to you now and relish it.

Mindfulness, gratitude, living in the present, enjoying the journey, - whatever you use or call it, being more conscious of ourselves and our mindset helps us recognise our impact and choices. You can do this every day, starting now.
Accept you ARE unique.

You are the only version of you that has ever existed. The word unique can sit uncomfortably with some people but we are, unquestionably, unique. Even genetically identical twins have different thoughts, feelings and experiences from birth. (Don't believe me? Ask identical twins about whether birth order matters!)

Focus on what makes a difference to you and the difference you make. This is not a time for hiding your light for fear of being "big-headed" or "too big for your boots". Acknowledge and respect who you are. 

Trust yourself to be you.

You are naturally creative. You are resourceful. You are not deficient or lacking or broken. Trust your instinct. Trust your knowledge and experience. Trust your emotions. Imagine you are your own closest friend and listen to yourself without judgement. 

"So what now?"

Maybe finding your life-purpose will involve changing careers or locations or the people you are with. This can feel quite overwhelming, hence people seek a clear "thing" to guide them and make them feel this kind of change will be worth the risk.

But what if finding meaning in your life means making conscious choices about how you spend your time, taking charge of how you respond to aggravations, or changing how you think about and treat yourself. Those steps are absolutely within your grasp right now. Who knows, those kind of small changes may even help you find your life-purpose after all.

*from the brilliant Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

What are you Waiting For? A Coach's Confession

It was red and shiny.  Its message, "Wake Up Be Awesome Repeat x 365" made me smile so, this time last year, I bought the 2015 diary you see in the picture.

Rather than routine things like appointments or to do lists, I was going to use it to record my successes and adventures in the year to come.  I know how powerful it is to celebrate both big and small achievements when they happen and this would capture them all.

I carried it around every day.  I saw it at least twice a day as I drew out and put away my laptop. 

My first entry was Friday 15th May.

So what happened for the first four and a half months of the year?
There were many times I considered writing something but, each time, I decided it wasn't "enough" to warrant an entry. 

Awesome is a tricky word.  Many people dislike it or feel its overuse has rendered it meaningless.  For me though, it's about being brave, adventurous or doing something totally out of the ordinary and nothing I did really met up to my expectation. 

I realised what was going on quite quickly.  Doing what I do for a living means I am self aware and, once identified, I can usually coach myself to a different mindset or behaviour.  That it took me four and a half months is, frankly, embarrassing. 

Human beings are gloriously complex.  If we weren't we'd all be predictable, stable and rule abiding.  But, thankfully, we are individuals and, as such, there are times when there is a disconnect between what we think, what we feel and what we do.

I know I'm not alone.  Other intelligent, experienced professionals get stuck too.  Particularly when the actions concern their own personal development, success or growth.  Ask them to do something for someone else's benefit? Done, there and then, with bells on and a smile.  Do something for their own benefit?  Still waiting......

But what are we waiting for? For more time? For the time to be "right"? For something to be good enough? For someone else to do it?
All this time spent waiting/planning/postponing/tweaking/justifying could be time spent doing something about it and enjoying the benefits! 

So, if you have an action that you are continually putting off, try answering these questions honestly;

• What do I want to achieve? Write it down. Notice how much wriggle room you give yourself and edit it until it's clear, concise and you get a nervous/excited feeling when you read it back.
• What is the smallest action I can take right now? If the action feels overwhelming, break it down.  The key thing is to so something NOW. Once you've done that, the next bit feel easier.

• Who can help me be accountable?  This is so simple and effective. We make excuses to ourselves but it's much harder to make excuses to others.
• What am I waiting for? Being totally honest, what would make you get started on your action right now, today? Permission from someone else? A guarantee you wouldn't fail? 
• What's the worst that could happen?  The reality is rarely as scary as we make up so instead of hiding from it, treat it as an adventure.

As for me and my shiny red diary?  We've become much better acquainted since Friday 15th May.  Flicking through it today, each entry makes me smile and reminds me of the event that triggered it.  In fact, I've enjoyed it so much, I'm going to keep making entries through 2016! The faltering start to 2015 is a fading memory that will serve to ensure I don't take four and a half months next time I set myself an action.

Creating a change, however small, can feel a bit bumpy.  It can take time as well as mental, emotional and physical energy.  But when it's done and you're on the other side, loving the impact, you wonder what took you so long.
If you have tips on how to get out of your own way or if you are holding back on taking an action that will make a positive difference to your life, I'd love to hear from you.

Stephanie Smith works with intelligent individuals and teams on personal impact, choice and change. Find out more and book a sample session at: www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk

Change Ahead? Where's Your Magic Wand?

Let's face it, we'd all have a magic wand if we could wouldn't we? 

Not sure which direction to take? *Swoosh* A clear path is revealed!
Fearful of the next step? *Ting* Fast forward a few months and you're loving it!
Holding yourself back because you want to fit in? *Swish* You are fully being yourself and the world is your oyster!

In my experience, most people are quite clear about what decision to make, how to handle a situation or how exceptionally unique they are, so why do we yearn for a magic wand?  Because there is a gap between knowing something (deep down) and acting on that knowledge.  And that gap can be scary.

Change is a funny beast.  Sometimes we feel safer staying stuck; somewhere on a range between "Could be better" and "Arggggggh!" rather than open ourselves up to something unknown.  It doesn't matter that the change could turn out way, way, waaaay better that your current state.  The sheer possibility that making a change might result in something less than ideal can be enough to keep you feeling "stuck" for weeks or months!

A magic wand would offer a guarantee that everything will be OK.  It would remove any element of risk.  It wouldn't just reduce the gap, it would remove it entirely.

But if your retailer of choice is out of magic wands, remember these points:

• Trust yourself.  You have more insight, vision and knowledge than you realise.
• Decisions rarely seem as big or daunting once you are on the other side.
• Know that you are creative and resourceful enough to deal with the impact of the change you want to make.
• Choosing not to make a change is still a choice.
• You are your own magic wand.

This is a follow on from my previous post "What are you waiting for?", accelerated by a great post from Ghilaine Chan "Why are we so scared to fail?". Do take a look!
Stephanie Smith works with intelligent individuals and teams on personal impact, choice and change. Find out more and book a sample session at: www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk or call 07824 839367.

Time to stop blaming your bad boss?

Recently I ran a workshop with a team experiencing quite serious internal difficulties.  As individuals, they were loyal, hardworking, experienced and professional but their behaviour as a team was now damaging both their performance and their wellbeing.

The cause of the team's problems was clear.  Their boss.  Tales were told and re-told to illustrate their boss's shortcomings.  Most issues could be resolved, they said, by the boss changing or leaving. 

Sounds simple doesn't it?

A light-bulb moment came half way through the day, when they were asked to describe their natural talents.  During this exercise, they realised how far away they felt from their talented selves.  The positivity, collaboration and many other wonderful traits they prided themselves on, were barely present.  In fact their behaviours, they noted, were almost the opposite.  They were part of the problem.

So what?

It had been fairly easy to blame the boss for all the team's problems.  Maybe the boss was at fault and maybe they weren't but that's only one part of the equation.  The aspect that everyone was conveniently overlooking was their own behaviour.  Every person in that team shared responsibility for the difficulties and failures they were experiencing. 

We are social beings.  Just as we are impacted by and react to the behaviours of others, others are impacted by and react to our own behaviours.  We can be quite quick to notice when we are affected by others but how often are we fully aware of our own behaviour and its impacts?

Looking back at the team, they were acutely aware of all the impacts of the boss's behaviour on them and their colleagues but their awareness of their own behaviour and its impact was only just beginning. 

They have lots of work to do to improve the team's performance and to recapture their love of their jobs but the work is on something they have full ownership of - themselves.  By noticing and understanding their reactions, they can choose how they behave and be aware of their own impact.

Most of us will have experienced a "bad boss" or two.  I have a few tales of my own which I replay more often than is helpful.  What I know now is that, however badly my boss behaved, I was (and am) entirely responsible for my reaction from that point.  I didn't always get it right but I know what I'd do differently next time which is a start!  

If you find yourself in a similar situation, know that you are not alone and remember that while recounting tales of bad behaviour, getting angry or withdrawing may make you feel better for a while, you and only you, have a very powerful choice to make about what happens next.

Stephanie Smith works with intelligent individuals on personal impact, choice and change. Find out more about being perfectly imperfect and book a sample session at: www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk 

Starting school? A game-changer for working parents

Being a working parent is hard.

Before I go on, I acknowledge that being a working parent is, generally, a situation of our own making.  We have chosen at some point to combine paid employment with raising our children.

Loving your children and enjoying work is not mutually exclusive.  People will judge (see coverage on the recently announced pregnancy of Yahoo's Marissa Meyer) and articles will publicise statistics which prove that it is either the best or worst thing for children daily. So it's hardly suprising that, at times, we wonder whether we have made the best choice.

Nursery was easy. I had happy kids being well-cared for during my working hours. Naturally, I'd have a wobble now and then but, instinctively, it felt right.

School was a game-changer.

The hours are short. The holidays are long.  Your child notices that other parents are there when you are not - and they ask you why. Ouch. 

If this sounds familiar, I empathise but don't despair. The points below helped me during the times I was convinced I was a shoddy employee and an even worse mother. 

Talk

Ask your children questions about their day.  It can be easy, when we're still in work-mode, to go through the motions of "How was school?" or "What have you done today?"  

Changing your questions can help your child think back on the fun parts or the memorable parts of school and make for more interesting answers for you to listen to.

Talk to them about your day.  What did you do that was fun or exciting?  I know I found myself telling them that my day have been boring or stressful, which prompted the obvious question "Why do you do it then?" Out of the mouths of babes.....  When I thought about the best bits of my day, I felt better about my day and they could see that there was a positive reason that I was not at the school gates with the other parents.

Listen 

Really listen.  It took me a while to be able to do this but it genuinely made a difference.

When you get home, create a time where you focus on nothing but being with your child/children and you listen to them.  No tidying up, no preparing food, no phone, no emails, no TV.  Just you and them.

For me, it was bath time when the outside world stopped and we connected properly.  It made a difference to me and to them.

Check in

Your intuition is important.  Even if your professional decisions are based purely on facts and figures, your personal decisions are likely in involve a good dose of intuition or gut instinct.  This is because your intuition is tuned in to your values. Checking in regularly helps you distinguish between "just a bad day" and something that is genuinely not working for you. 

Consider your options

Whether you're happy with how things are or want something to change, working through your options is a really useful excercise.  Even if you feel "stuck" with how things are now, the truth is you always have a choice. 

Let your imagination run wild for a bit and write down or sketch out as many potential options as you can possibly create.  Everything is allowed.  Even the impractical, improbable and seemingly impossible.  

Just acknowledging that you have a choice is usually liberating in itself.  When you review your page(s) of options, there may be one or parts of one that draws your attention.  Pay attention to it.

Be kind to yourself

Wobbles are normal.  Children have wobbles too.  Yes, even children with stay at home parents. 

Be gentle with yourself.  Only you know what's best for you and your family.  Trust yourself and, if that's hard, imagine what the person who knows you best would say to you.

We can only ever do what we believe is best with the information (whether facts, figures or intuition) and resources we have available at the time. So give yourself a break and know that, whatever you decide, you can change your mind!

If what you've read resonates with you, do visit my website or drop me an email. I'd love to hear from you. 

Best wishes,

Stephanie

Core Values. Essential knowledge or just a list of words?

Talking about “Values” can be a bit like asking someone to eat Marmite on toast. Some people know what to expect and are glad to have the opportunity; others recoil slightly and pull a face of horror at the idea.

If you identify more with the latter group, I understand.

How could a list of words make any difference to my happiness or my success?

Have you ever felt not quite yourself? It’s frustrating. Even more so if the “big things” in life appear to be fine – well paid job, positive relationships, financial security etc. You “should” be happy. You “should” count yourself lucky. You “should” just snap out of it. And yet, despite all these “shoulds”, you just don’t feel like YOU. If you’re an intelligent individual, used to dealing with the complexities of your work and home environments, being unable to figure out what’s causing your discomfort just adds to the frustration.

Personally, my values help me make sense of things. They represent what’s most important to me and what I stand for. This means I can define what happiness and success mean to me and I understand how I can influence them.

Simply put, when you are living and working with your values, things flow and life is good. If a value is stepped on or ignored, the opposite is true.

Just as strong core muscles are essential to your physical balance and stability, strong core values contribute to emotional balance and resilience (the ability to tackle the ups and downs of our unpredictable lives).

Not feeling yourself? Look to your values. It is possible that something important to you is not being nurtured and that is having an impact on your happiness and/or success.

Equally, you can actively work with your values at times where you might ordinarily feel discomfort or doubt. For instance, I have a value of “Exploration”. I connect this to being open, being curious, being brave, taking a risk and consciously drawing on that value helps me when I am taking on something new.

How do I identify my values?

There are a few different ways of identifying your values. These two articles (huffpost and mindtools) contain helpful questions and steps to get started. It can be useful to do the exercises more than once, a few days or even weeks apart and look at what changes and what remains the same.

Values are more than a collection of words. It’s the connection you make to whichever word or phrase you choose that matters which is why lists of values (as in the Mindtools article) can be a useful starting point but taking it a few steps further to generate your own unique set is very powerful.

Sometimes, it’s enough just to recognise your values. Greater awareness of what’s important to you means you are more likely to make choices and seek opportunities that are in line with your values.

Sometimes, even with this knowledge, we hold ourselves back.

What are your thoughts about values? I’d love to hear your experiences and observations.


Stephanie Smith works with intelligent individuals and teams on personal impact, choice and change. Find out more and book a sample session at: www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk