Career Crossroads? Even a Prince has to make tough decisions!

I imagine that the last thing Prince Harry needs right now is more advice. Today, he announced that he had taken the “really tough decision” to leave the army after 10 years and, although he has some volunteer work lined up for a while, there is plenty of speculation about his next role. And, I suspect, plenty of people offering up opinions about what he could/should/must do.

It’s true that Harry’s circumstances probably differ from ours. (I suspect that financial security is not something he loses sleep over.) However, when he describes being “at a crossroads”, I’m sure many of us can empathise.

The “crossroads” metaphor however makes it sound quite simple; option 1 (turn left), option 2 (turn right) or option 3 (straight ahead). The reality is much more complex and, having made one big decision to leave his current employer, he now faces a series of questions, choices and decisions that could feel quite overwhelming for anyone, even a prince.

So, just in case you don’t have a host of trusted advisors queuing up to help you, here are some tips if you’re at a career crossroads right now:

1. Own your choices

This is your career and your life. Understand what is most important to you (your values) and what you want to create in your life, both personally and professionally.

Allow yourself to imagine what you would do if you knew you couldn't fail. This is not about being selfish, it is about getting really clear. From here, you can consider the impact on others.

2. Listen to your trusted advisors

We often find step 1 difficult because we pre-empt what others will think, say or do about the options we are considering.

Ask for advice, share your concerns and listen to their responses. It can help to choose people who are impacted (e.g. family) as well as those who aren’t (colleagues or friends) to get a range of views.

Remember, choose your advisors wisely. Just because someone has an opinion, does not necessarily mean that is it wanted or useful. Speak to people you care about and who care about you.

3. Imagine the worst (and the best!)

As important as it is to focus on positive outcomes, it is quite normal to ask yourself “what if” when facing a big decision. “What if I don’t like the company/job/people?” “What if my family doesn’t want to move?” “What if change my mind?”

These are all useful questions but we often stop at the questioning stage, because the answers are too difficult or scary. This can stop us making any decision at all.
Allow yourself to imagine the worst case scenario and take it to a logical conclusion. Consider what you’d be willing to change/sacrifice to mitigate those risks. You always have a choice.

4. Take action

Standing at a crossroads soon becomes pretty boring. It doesn’t matter whether you take a small step or a giant leap, as long as you make your choice and take action; even if that action is to stay where you are.

Interestingly, no matter how enormous the decision seems today, from this side, it rarely feels as big from the other side.

5. Return to 1.

Let's be honest, you've probably already faced a few big decisions already and there will be more to come. The good news is that it does get easier with practice. Try these steps for other choices you are faced with and see what difference it makes!

Stephanie Smith works with intelligent individuals on personal impact, choice and change. Find out more and book a sample session at: www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk

Not sure about coaching? Try a small group workshop to learn about key coaching tools and techniques and experience the power of coaching in a safe, confidential and fun environment. Book Here

Mike the Boilerman's lessons in loving your work

I had the pleasure of meeting "Mike the Boilerman" a few weeks ago.  Mike, as the name suggests, fixes boilers.  There is, however, one key point that set Mike apart from the fleet of other similar engineers:

He loves his work.

I love my work too but when I initially meet my clients, they can struggle with the concept of "having a fulfilling career" (by which I mean loving your work more often than not enjoying it).  It's all very well in principle, it seems, but turning it in to reality can feel a bit far fetched.   

So what is his secret?

Know what you're good at

Mike was clear from an early age that he had an interest in and talent for fixing things.  He decided that, rather than fix lots of different things, he would specialise.  His quality of work meant that he quickly gained a reputation for being the "go to" person for boiler repairs.

So what?

What is your specialism?  What are you the "go to" person for?  This can be a practical skill or knowledge set but can also be expertise in bringing people together, high quality work or pragmatism.
What you know what you're good at - and are not shy about acknowledging this strength, others will see it more clearly too.

Set expectations

There is no "under promise and over deliver".  He's not out to make a quick buck.  He is clear about how he works and how he charges from the outset.  He doesn't do boiler installations or bathrooms.  He does boiler repairs.  That is all.

He found that, by setting expectations early, people could make more informed decisions and that made for a better working environment for both parties.

So what?

What are you prepared to say yes and no to?  How well do you set expectations; either personally or for your teams?

Make it easy

We are so good at making things way more complicated than they need to be.  In my experience, is it usually because we are concerned about what others may think, say or do as a result.

Mike realised that issuing invoices and chasing payment was taking up way too much of his time.  
His solution was to take payment either in advance or on site.  Would people resist?  Some did but, as he said, those that are resistant are usually the ones who would require chasing under the old process so they are no loss.

So what?

What if it really was that easy? What are you telling yourself about the consequences and what facts do you have that this is the case?

What next?

Mike and I are not the only ones who love our work.  I am meeting more and more individuals now who have found a fulfilling role which they enjoy.  Whether in a large organisation, a start up or your own business, there is something out there that will light your fire.  
Get in touch if you'd like to see how I can help you find work you love.
And if you still don't believe it exists, just ask Mike.

6 Things 12 Year Olds do Way Better Than Us!

I have an admission. I wasn’t looking forward to my 12 year old son’s school concert. As excited as he was, I was imagining a 60 minute ear-assault followed by polite clapping and a headache.

But as each group, pair and soloist took to the stage, I was struck by the fact that these pre-teens had more spirit, courage and resilience than the vast majority of their 40-something year old audience.

This is not a stage school. The students volunteered to perform solos or in small groups rather than being selected. Some of them looked shy and uncomfortable under the spot lights. Some made mistakes by forgetting words or missing a note. But they performed, they bowed, they sat down, they beamed.

How many times have you held yourself back? What have you opted out of or avoided because you were afraid of what might happen or of what people might say? What is your equivalent of singing on stage in front of 250 people?

So what is it that makes a 12 year old try what a 42 year old wouldn’t?

Characteristics of a 12 year old (and what we could learn from them)

• They think “yeah, why not? I can do that!” (self-belief)
• They are willing to give it a go even if they haven’t done it before (balanced approach to risk)
• They imagine that it will be amazing (positive mindset)
• They have fun (motivation and their purpose!)
• They do it with friends (positive environment)
• They keep it simple (clarity about what’s important)

What would be possible if you adopted some of these characteristics? The next time an opportunity comes up which you’d previously have shied away from, try thinking like a 12 year old and see what happens.

If you want to find out more about increasing your clarity, motivation and self-belief, drop me an email steph@stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk

Stephanie Smith is a coach specialising in the world of work. She works with individuals and teams on personal impact, choice and change. Find out more at: www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk

Thinking about the next steps in your career? Stop!

 My family used to tease me for my inability to make decisions. Whether I was choosing food in a restaurant (fish or ribs) or which options to take at school (Latin or Art), it was not unusual for me to agonise over the pros and cons, delaying the final decision as long as possible for fear of getting it “wrong”.

Actually, my family’s teasing was a bit unfair. I made many big decisions (which university, which course, where to live) quickly and easily. I know now that I would get “stuck”, not because I couldn’t decide but because my thought process was at odds with what I felt; my intuition or gut instinct.

Going back 7 years, I had a good job and I was ambitious. Thinking about what to do to further my career sounded like this:

“I work for a successful company; I have worked hard for 11 years and am regularly promoted; my skills are needed; I am well paid; my role is secure. Answer - Work harder; Deliver more; Target the next promotion.”

In my head, lots of boxes were being ticked. But the answer my head came up with didn’t feel motivating or inspiring (which is a requirement for me if I’m going to work hard for it). I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy because, logically, I had everything I wanted! Perhaps I had no right to be unhappy because I should have been grateful to have a job at all?

So what?

If you rely on logic, intelligence and experience to make a decision, you will make sound, evidence-based decisions which will, more often than not, be spot on in a business situation. However, choices that impact your life (your home, your family, your career, your health) draw upon feelings, dreams and values. Ignore them at your peril as their intangibility belies their power!

Back to 7 years ago, I put my logical thoughts to one side and listened to what else was going on;

“I am stuck; opportunities are limited; there is no commitment to change here; I am wasting my time; my skills are undervalued. Answer - Take charge; Stop whining and do something about it!”

Stuck

In this situation, my thoughts about my career were only part of the picture. I was effectively being pulled in two different directions and, although my intuition made no logical sense, ignoring it was not making it go away, it was just stopping me making a good decision so I became “stuck”.

“Stuck” is not a fun place to be. It is a place you arrive at when you feel you have “no choice”. You may feel obligated or restricted by your responsibilities or your specialist skills or the state of the external job market – all of which feel out of your control or influence. And when you feel that your options are limited or removed, it is easy to lose your spark. 

Pause your thoughts

Your intelligence is unquestionable and has provided answers to career-defining moments in the past. So what’s getting in the way this time?

Your mind is exceptional. It is the ultimate multi-tasking tool. But it can get crowded in there.

If your career development thought process involves innumerable options, potential options, risks and scenarios based on evidence, extrapolation and pure conjecture or if it results in just one option that you don’t like but can’t think your way around, it could be because your thoughts are at odds with your intuition. (I think of it as gut instinct or intuition. Call it what you will, you possess it and it has something important to say!)

What does your intuition say? What is your reaction? What are you telling yourself about what comes up?

Do you mistrust your intuition? Perhaps you judge it as frivolous or irresponsible? I thought mine sounded like a spoiled child. And perhaps, on its own, it is. However, when you are able to combine your logic and your intuition, your opportunities open up and your decisions become much easier.
You have a choice.

Choice is the antidote to being stuck.

It’s up to you whether you choose to listen to your intuition fully or just to the parts that make “sense”. No matter how scary or ridiculous they may seem, ignoring or shutting down the messages from your intuition, does not make them go away.

The key is to make a conscious choice. Feeling stuck is about not choosing – either because you don’t know what to choose or because you don’t feel you have a choice. Making a specific choice, even if that is to stay doing what you’re doing, demonstrates that you are taking responsibility for your career path.

For me, choice meant updating my cv and actively seeking a new opportunity. I secured my dream job shortly afterwards but, actually, the biggest thrill was in making the decision to look in the first place. I had taken charge, stopped whining and done something about it. 

Getting Unstuck

Try these questions to take you out of your thoughts and to access your gut instinct. It helps if you answer quickly and either speak or write the words. Try not to censor yourself or judge what you say/write.

• Imagine it is 5 years from now and you are happy – what are you doing?
• If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do?

If you feel “stuck” at the moment or are unsure about your career options, get in touch and we can work on it together. www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk

Success and Happiness - Which Comes First?

A friend emailed me a great article this week. The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor considered the motivational factors of happiness and success and whether one ultimately drove the other.

The report proposed that happiness is a precursor to success.  Because success is relative, as soon as we get close to the "target" it loses its value so we set a new, tougher challenge without feeling the benefit of achievement.

Sound familiar?

Most of us have been conditioned since birth to respond to a reward mechanism that works on the basis of "if you do x, you'll get y".  Whether it's good behaviour leading to a sweet treat or taking on "special projects" on top of your day job to secure a bonus payment or promotion, we are taught that achievement will give us positive results.

So where does how we feel about what we're doing come in to the equation? It saddens me when I hear someone say "Work's work isn't it. You're not supposed to enjoy it."  Really? Says who?  Show me the rule that says we're not supposed to enjoy what we do for at least 40% of our waking hours! I choose not to buy in to that myth.

And I'm not talking about superficial perma-smiles or some lofty "head in the air" kind of happiness either.
The Happiness Advantage author Shawn Achor says that the greatest competitive advantage in the modern economy is a positive and engaged brain.  That is genuine, floating-my-boat, even the bad days are good, happiness. And he goes on the suggest that your brain actually works better when you are happy!

Not sure how? Start with these questions and get in touch if you want to know more.

• What does happiness mean to me?
• What activities in life make me happy?
• What is the best bit about my job now? What would it be like to do that bit all the time?
• What impact does my level of happiness have on those around me?
• Who is the happiest person I know and what do I tell myself about them? 
• What do my thoughts about them tell me about how I feel about being happy?

Let me know your thoughts on how you relate happiness and success and how they work for you!

Stephanie
www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk

p.s. credit to http://fernandocadena.com/tag/happiness/ for the picture!

Out of The Frying Pan.....How to Choose Your Next Job

Malky Mackay and owner of Cardiff City, Vincent Tan

There has been lots of speculation about who will take over as manager at Cardiff City since Malky Mackay was sacked a couple of days ago.  I wouldn't usually use football as a reference point when thinking about career choices but sometimes wisdom comes from surprising sources.  When questioned about whether Ole Gunnar Solskjaer would take the job, one pundit remarked that he'd been advised to "Think about which chairman you want to join rather than which club."

On a similar note, Matt Frost, a 30 year old from Cornwall, found that "If you have the same interests as your colleagues, it makes a big difference."  Matt spent 2013 trying a different job each week for 52 weeks (see www.oneweekjob.com,) and he noticed that, even though some of the jobs were similar, the people you had around you made the biggest difference to whether or not you enjoyed it.

Does this mean that we should only look for jobs where we like the people we work for or with?  Not necessarily but we often overlook the people factor when we consider changing what we do.  It is tempting to only look at quantitative factors such as salary, bonus, title (status), team size etc. as they are easy to compare even though it is usually the people around us that have the biggest impact on our fulfillment.

Fluffy stuff?

Even if you don't think of yourself as a "people person", having the right people around you is still important. This is not about finding people you'd want to socialize with, it is about the role of others in your success.

What do you love most about the work that you do? Who would you want around you so that you could focus on that, rather than be distracted by what you don't enjoy? 

Consider your greatest strengths.  What kind of leader would recognise these strengths and value them in their organisation?

Making decisions

Deciding to leave can be easy.  Deciding where to go can be more difficult. By aligning your decision-making criteria to your values you can compare things that really matter to you and your happiness.

Here's a starting point:

• List what you want more of and want less of in your next job. Consider which of these are because of or impacted by the people around you. 
• Consider what you would do if money/time was not a concern. Does this include others in some way? If so, who and why?
• Think about who inspires you and why.
• Write down the people who have made the biggest impact on your career and what that impact was.

To talk more about making a change in your career, get in touch: steph@stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk 

Who is the Boss of You?

"I just want someone to tell me what my options are!"

This was the plea of a friend I've known for almost 20 years.  "I know I'm demanding (then lists all the "demands") and I'm just not sure many other companies would offer that. But I'm not sure the next step for me is here either."

Sound familiar?

If so, let's think about what is really going on here.  Let's imagine that this is a CEO talking about their product.  The script might go:

"I just want someone to tell me where my customers are! I know we have an expensive product (list all the amazing things it does) and I'm just not sure many new customers would really want that.  But I'm not sure our current customers will carry on buying it much longer either."

Does that sound like a successful CEO to you?  I have worked with many individuals who aspire to be CTO, CEO, COO in their careers and have no trouble considering business issues and making business decisions.  But when it comes to making changes in their own lives, the CEO mindset is sometimes more elusive.

When I listened to my friend, I heard two versions.
I heard that this person is:

• doubting their own value within the organisation (I'm not sure the next step is here)
• afraid of not succeeding at landing the next level up (getting someone else to set out the options)
• wondering whether this is as far they can go (having "demands" they feel might not be reasonable)

And also, this person is:

• a high potential, high performing individual (they have high expectations/"demands")
• is experienced (they have a reputation within their current company)
• is ambitious (they want to move on and up to the next step)

Both could be true but which is the version where they are being the CEO of their own life?  By being the CEO of their own career, they will know what they are looking for, what they offer and who to speak to make the change happen.

If you find your inner CEO is taking a nap, here are some ways to wake them up again:

1. Looking for someone to "tell you the options" for your next step?
   Write your own ideal job description - this will highlight what you're looking for without being restricted by an existing job title or department.
2. Think you have too many "demands" to find a role elsewhere?
   Make a list of your achievements, experience and expertise that give you the right to have high expectations of a future role
3. Not sure whether your "next step" is within your current organisation?
   Be clear about what you love about staying and what you want to be different

Being a CEO is not about having to do everything on your own but it is about being in charge.  Be in charge of you - because if you aren't your own CEO, who is?

www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk

Does Mindset Really Matter?

I still smile when I see this picture of Andy Murray, holding aloft the coveted Wimbledon trophy.  Not just because it was an exciting moment for everyone in Britain (particularly those, like me, with more than a hint of Scottish blood) but because it captures that moment when he realises that his dream has become reality.

Murray began working with Alexis Castorri in early 2012 and she came with the personal recommendation of his coach and mentor, Ivan Lendl.  Her approach is simple “I’m interested in helping a person become the best they can be," she told The Daily Telegraph last year. “That means talking about their lives in total. Tennis is part of it but not the whole of the conversation.”

Together, they identified that his exceptionally high standards were creating massive internal frustration.  Her work with Murray helped him re-connect with the passionate teenager who played with excitement and intuition.  They then brought that together with all the positive experience he had gained over the years - his tactical brilliance and creativity.  Oh, and the fact that he is pretty good at hitting a ball over the net.

So what?

You have to work on your WHOLE self to be truly successful. Having a goal is a good start. Having talent gets you so far.  Having ambition can get you further.  All those elements got Andy Murray to a good few Grand Slam finals.

It is quite common for highly ambitious people to be exceptionally self-critical.  In my view, it's how they work with (rather than ignore) that self-criticism that makes the difference.  So, before you sign up for more training, re-write your cv or start a new project, take a moment to ask yourself some of those questions you've been avoiding.  For instance, what is your "Wimbledon Championship"?  

"If people aren't laughing at your dreams, your dreams aren't big enough!" Robin Sharma

www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk